**Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.** Proverbs 31:30
**Favor is deceitful**….The unending search for good friends, to fit in, to be a part of something….the human need for popularity, to be accepted, to be liked….to gain the favor of others…can trip up any of us. All of it can send us into an emotional spiral. All of it can draw our hearts away from the One who is the only true Friend, the only One whose favor is worth seeking. The only One whose approval matters.
** Beauty is vain**….
If we go back and read again the entire chapter of Proverbs 31, we can see that only two verses talk about the virtuous woman’s appearance. The 29 other verses talk about what she does, who she is, how she treats others and how she uses her hands to be a help to others.
Verses 21 and 22 talk about what she and her family wear, their outer appearance. They mention the fruit of her skills and labors and her foresight of caring for their needs. Because her skills are developed and honed through years of experience in creating marketable items, her family also benefits from her talents. Her family is well prepared for the outdoors.
Nowhere is mentioned what this P31 woman looks like. Is she tall, short, skinny, chubby? Neither her race or her nationality are ever discussed. Is she gorgeous or plain? We do not know.
The statement that beauty is vain reminds me of the verse from James 4 that tells us that our **life is but a vapor**…it is here, and then it isn’t. History’s obsession with beauty and youth has been the downfall of many women. Bathsheba warns us against overly pursuing it and depending on it for our happiness. Remember what Bathsheba’s attractiveness got her? The warning is that our physical appearance is fleeting, so let’s not depend on it to gain friends or fame. Any actress can tell you the high cost of making her looks a priority.
One qualifier to this is the verses that talk about the P31 woman’s relationship with her husband. Verses 10 and 11. Also verse 22 that talks about her tapestry styled and brocaded, intricate clothing.
Ladies, we should remember the effort we made to look attractive for our spouse when we were dating and in those early days when physical attraction was very high, before child bearing and time left their mark. No one needs to try to look like a runway model but our husbands do have eyes. They are a visual gender. If they weren’t, pornography would be a bankrupt business venture.
Doing the best we can with what God has given us and being grateful for it is a good thing. Neglecting completely our looks with the idea that frumpy is godly, cannot be supported biblically. We don’t need to pour over beauty magazines but maybe if we try to see ourselves as our husbands see us, we might find some ways to make some adjustments.
The idea is to not get trapped into popularity contests or fame seeking. Nor to be overly consumed with our physical appearance. Both have their benefits but both will not forever satisfy or are able to be maintained over time. There is something better, something more valuable…the second half of this verse. We will talk about it next time.