** Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. ** Proverbs 31:10-12
Continuing with our discussion on trust, let’s look at what ‘trust’ implies. It is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.
If we make traditional vows at our wedding, trust in a marriage means that our spouse believes that we are reliable and true to our word. He believes that we will love him at all times. He counts on us to love him in all of those early days when he is still trying to figure out his own role in marriage and is trying to provide for our family before he has much in the way of skills to do so. He is learning to manage finances, and time and energy. He is trying to learn to control his own desires and be trustworthy for us. He believes that we will love him unconditionally and until death do us part. He is trusting us to keep his heart safe while he matures and becomes the husband he needs to be.
Husbands also trust that their wives were being truthful when they vowed to love them on the good and the bad days. That his mistakes would not end her love for him. That the two of them would find a solution together. That the wife would respond with support and encouragement and forgiveness for the tough days instead of blaming and criticizing or walking away from her vows and commitment. One of the first steps to a destroyed marriage is a woman’s response to her husband’s shortcomings and vice versa.
Marriage can teach us a lot about what trusting the Lord means.
The Lord makes us many promises at the beginning of our relationship with Him. He promises us provision and being at our side at all times. The same things we desire from our spouse. The best part is that He always keeps His promises. He is not fallible like husbands can be. The Lord never goes back on His Word. He always remembers what He has promised and He cannot lie to us and He will do what He said He would do. He is the perfect spouse.
Our responsibility in our relationship with God is to trust that He is Who He says He is. We need to trust in His reliability. We can count on Him to do what He promises to do. We can believe that every Word He ever tells us is Truth. He will never deceive us. And we can believe that He is able to fulfill every promise, every vow that He makes.
Trust also implies that we are willing to allow our husbands and the Lord to do things their way, and in their time. We all have a list of to-do’s for our husbands. And if you are like me, we want the list done today!! Too often we approach the Lord with the same demands. ‘This is what I want, Lord, and I want it today!’
But trust means we are also willing to accept the Lord’s timing. He will fulfill His promises to us in His time and His way. Including the way and the timing of His working in our husbands. Demanding that the Lord changes our husbands today is an example of not trusting His perfect work in them.
Which brings us back to our verses. Learning to trust the Lord completely is going to help us to trust our husbands. And trusting the Lord and our husbands is going to help our husbands to trust in us and to help him stay on the right path. Which in turn will make us virtuous women, rare gems in the pool of humanity. A virtuous woman knows how to trust, and to leave things in the Lord’s hands. And they know they can count on Him to do all things well and in His perfect time and are willing to stay out of His way while He works.
Trusting is a patient process of leaving our hearts and dreams and disappointments in the Lord’s hands, however big or small our concerns are. And it is knowing that every step of the way is guided by His will. It is knowing that our relationship with Him is His top priority. He will never fall short of being the perfect spouse. He will never misuse our trust in Him. If there is a breakdown in trust levels it is on our part, not His. He firmly believes in us and is completely reliable in how He is forming our lives and working them out. Our responsibility is to look at Him in the same way. We can “do Him good and not evil all the days of our lives”. We can be shining rubies of virtue for Him, full of trust in His ability to guide us well every day. And as we grow in our trust towards the Lord, it will spill out on our marriage and will increase the Trust Fund waiting for us in eternity.