True Love– Fake it ’til you make it!

**Let love be without dissimulation.** Romans 12;9

Fake it ’til you make it is a popular phrase being thrown around by authors, YouTubers, and  Tweeters in recent years.   

The idea is that  if one, for example, wants to be a  fearless public speaker,  she should go ahead and speak in public as often as possible even though she is terrified to stand before others.  The practice of  speaking in public to small or large groups over and over again will eventually help her overcome her fear.  Until her fear has been conquered, she can move forward applying this principle. She will fake it.  She will pretend that she’s not afraid to speak in public until she really isn’t afraid. 

 Fake it till you make it.

Love is an action word.

 Today we are looking at True Love from a point of sincerity.  

Google definitions tells us that to dissimulate means—to disguise or conceal under a false appearance.   

Our love should not be phony, false, or faked. We should not pretend to love others or  live behind a facade  of kindness and grace.  It should be real and transparent that we truly care about people.

 Yet, I don’t believe that this discards the idea of fake it till you make it  when it comes to love.  Because I believe that love is an action word,  something we’ll talk about in a future post.  Emotions do create actions, but, sometimes actions  have to come before emotions.  

When we  counsel couples for marital problems or in premarital counseling,  we explain to them that love is not  a guarantee that  both  partners are feeling happy,   mushy,  sweet,  romantic or tingly  towards each other all the time.   If the emotion of love  dissipates,  the conscious actions of loving your partner can eventually rekindle the emotions of love.  One may not feel love or be in love with their partner,  but treating them with respect,  serving them,  being grateful for their positive traits, learning to forgive, and to be merciful will  show them love,  and eventually bring back the spark of emotional love. 

To explain it in a more nitty-gritty way….

 Let’s say that you like kickboxing.  You prepare yourself for a workout and after warming up, you start to kick the big bag  for kicking thingy.  I have no idea what that’s called.  

Anyway,  you launch out the first kick, and then a second, 3rd and 4th.  You  continue kicking in a conscious,  logical,  determined way,  but what often happens is the repetition of kicking a bag helps  to unsurface  deep stress and even anger.  Sooner or later you’re not kicking for exercise, now, you’re kicking to get rid of  inner rage.  So, the initial steps are not emotional,  they may even be indifferent.  You just start going through the motions because  the objective is the workout.  Once you get rolling, your emotions take over.   Your emotions become involved in the activity.

 So it is  with True Love.  In a perfect world, we are not supposed to demonstrate a phony, hypocritical love to others.  But if we struggle  to love from our heart,   there is a way to fix that.   

 We can just treat people the way they should be treated.  Forgive the way we would want to be forgiven.  Speak kindly the way we would want others to speak to us. In time,   your heart will become involved as well. 

So if you’re just not feeling it today.  Fake it till you make it. 

Be kind. Be merciful. Do something nice for your partner or your children or your neighbor. 

Tomorrow may be a better day. 

**My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.**1John 3:18

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